Despite supplications to Allah on their behalf, the Chicago Cubs have been eliminated from the MLB postseason, denied in their bid to return to the World Series for the first time since 1945.
It’s true, sports lovers: while Cubbies fans were donning their rally caps to stave off a first-round sweep by the Dodgers in game three of the divisional series at Los Angeles, an avid group of Muslim Cubs fans assembled at Wrigley Field in solemn prayer to turn the tide against the infidel (NL) West. You know your team really sucks when you haven’t won the big one in a hundred years and even Allah can’t buy you one lousy postseason win!
As a lifelong, die-hard Cleveland Indians fan, I know the pain of the losers, but consequently I could have spared them the ignominy of butts-to-the-sky public prayer. Praying doesn’t help so much in baseball, I’ve found—and believe me, I’ve tried. And tried. Even the mighty intercession of the holy St. Chief Wahoo, patron saint of hopeless seasons, has been powerless to deliver me from my annual torment.
So it’s hard for me not to feel for Cubs fans after an entire century of frustration, but you’ve really got to feel for Chicago’s Muslim fans.
After all, everyone knows that the game of baseball is one of Islamic culture’s greatest contributions to western civilization.
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The power of Allah shows once again. LOL.
Maybe we’d have better luck if the Chief donned a turban himself. Mullah Wahoo? Ayatollah Wahoo?
Allah hates me, Haid. He gave me hair, but I am not allowed to show it. He gave me a face, and I must cover it completely. I was born as a person, yet my father and brothers and then my husband owns me. I don’t have any ID. And NOW, Allah says I only need one of my eyes! Why on earth did Allah bother even creating me?
Well, Thank the Lord, I don’t need to ask THAT question. Good luck on your prayers, suckahs, It won’t matter in the end.
Always–I can see you’re not a baseball fanatic, or at least not an Indians or Cubs fan. I wish I could say it’s just Allah who’s impotent regarding baseball, but I’m afraid it’s God the Father, Our Lord Jesus, the Holy Spirit, St. Wahoo, St. Jude, and the entire Celestial Court!
Either that or they’re all Yankees and Red Sox fans. I even tried praying to my mother last year, and we buried her with her Indians cap. I certainly hope she’s not wearing pinstripes these days.
Darryl–If my Photoshop skills were better, I’d cop that one for you, with Wahoo’s feather sticking out of the turban. It would be an inside joke deluxe.
Did I ever tell you that when I arrived at Jacobs Field in 1995 for game five of the World Series, one of the first things I encountered there on the grounds outside the stadium was a large booth with American Indians protesting the Chief Wahoo mascot and logo? (We were playing the Braves, but I didn’t see any tomahawk protests). I thought I recognized a couple of the protesters and, sure enough, they were all from my neighborhood back home in (real) Indian country. One of them recognized me as “that government guy” whom she apparently didn’t like much anyway. And there I was, covered head to toe in Wahoos out the wazoo.
Scherzo–Poor thing. At least you’re just a woman and not a Cubs fan. That would be the ultimate double whammy. Even Rodney Dangerfield got more respect.
I love the one eye thing. LOL. As for your poignant existential question, Allah made you to breed, of course, and for that you need NO eyes, so be thankful. Allah is most compassionate, way merciful.
What do you call a woman with only one eye? Eye-eesha!
baseball died when the twins lost to the white sox last week. but at least i have football and it is the year of the broncos, 4-1 baby! at least those brownies didn’t lose this weekend haid. come to think of it they didn’t play
.
Yeah, Jack. Bye weeks are just what the doctor ordered.
Rhetorical question: When does basketball season start, anyway?
AAAARGGGHH! all my comment distappeart, Haid! What did I did? Chalice! Zut alors and Merde! Pardon my Fronsh. Okay, here is what I discovered about jump pages from visiting Gates of Vienna and Jihad Watch and other places that use them. In the link, after the .html is this doodaddy: #readfurther. Now how to do that on my blog! I will figure this out.
And on DhimmiWatch, usually with Hugh Fitzgerald’s longish essays, this appears after a long string of numbers .php#more
So I don’t know which would work for me.
No, honey, that’s just the permalink for the split post. But you’re right: GOV is a Blogger blog, and they do use the split post function. So you need to go to the baron. Robert is TypePad, and the “more” function is built in.
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