School’s out

This is an update for readers of my old blog, on which I announced sometime back that I would be enrolling for a local community education course called “Understanding the Middle East and Islamic Culture.” I promised I’d report on my experience, despite expecting nothing exciting, such as turning the class into a “bull in the china shop” incident, as one subscriber put it.

As it happens, I was able to keep an even lower profile than I had intended; the class was unfortunately canceled for “lack of interest.” Imagine that, if you can: not being interested in the Middle East or Islamic culture. It’s unthinkable, at least in the post-9/11 era.

Anticipating a standing-room-only turnout, I had planned on arriving to class early—that is, before they ran out of baklava, which is served wherever Muslims are found indoctrinating infidels to appreciate the beauty and elegance of Islamic culture. Baklava is the sole Middle Eastern contribution to modern civilization (no, my friends, oceans of fossil fuels don’t count, for a variety of reasons) and it is one culinary delight I’ve come to appreciate in my gut, as it were. I’ve gone without ever since the Mediterranean Store closed its doors last year here in Dogville—yet more of that infuriating lack of interest, I presume—and the cancellation of class is therefore a bitter pill to swallow.

There’s nothing quite like a really bad metaphor for reporting really bad news.